Living someone else’s life? “I’m afraid that I will never be loved.”

An excerpt from a session with the Freedom Astrologer. With permission to share from the participant.

He was sitting there; I could already see we were close.

Close to freedom.

The conversation was about fear. Fear of not achieving enough, fear of not doing enough. Fear of always having to do more. And more, and more…

“I feel like I always must do more, and more, and more. Without ever getting anything back!”

This sounded familiar… Unfortunately, in this case my own life story.

“Can You feel it now? This fear relentlessly chasing You?” I asked.

He closed his eyes and replied “Yes, it’s a lot to take. I feel like I’m always anxious because of this.”

“Stay with it.” I meddled.

We sat there for a couple of moments.

I could feel and see from him that he was there, sitting in that fear that had been gripping him for many years. Just I had done just a couple of years earlier.

If You are in this line of work, this happens almost every session. You get to help someone with something You have already went through.

It seemed like he had stayed with the feeling long enough. This is important for the person to understand and get comfortable with it. So that they can later go through this themselves.

“What are You actually afraid of?” I asked daring to push the energy even further.

He was doing great, really in himself and present by that moment.

“I’m not sure, all I know is that I’m really, really afraid. I feel young and small.”

“Are any memories coming to You or images?” I asked.

He paused for a moment but then replied, “Not really, all I can feel is I’m young and really scared.”

This happens quite often; the memory is so suppressed that it’s hard to grasp in the moment. (Often the memories come back to the person after the session.)

“That’s okay. Just stay with the sensation for a little longer.”

Because I had seen this before I knew that there’s no need to rush or push it too much.

Suddenly, I had the inkling to give something to him. This is how spirit or intuition works (You can also say Your spirit guides = suddenly something comes that You have to say or do).

“Are You truly afraid that You will never be loved? And even further, were You never loved properly by Your parents and caregivers? Do You have this deep and excruciating belief of I will never be loved?”

His eyes opened suddenly. I had seen and experienced this myself before. The sweet taste of freedom and liberation arrived in that moment.

Tears, sadness followed.

This is usually where the memories start coming back.

“You are right” he said through the sadness. “They never loved me. They only pretended to love me. All of them. My mother, my father, my grandparents. They all wanted to get something from me.”

He continued after a short pause “I can now see myself as a little boy, all alone. Not loved, not appreciated. All they did was take; all they did was take from me! I was never loved!”

He broke down into tears and grief after that. It is important to allow it.

He was doing awesome, it is usually much harder for men to allow themselves to feel things. Although they have a much deeper capacity to feel darker emotions.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” I just reassured him. Very often this helps the person to feel safe to go even deeper.

Unfortunately, we as humans think it’s not okay to feel our feelings. That is why just saying “It’s okay, it’s okay” will reassure the person that it’s actually okay to feel their feelings and allow grief, as well as sadness into their experience.

Read the rest in the Freedom List where I discuss freedom, life, money, markets, relationships, sex, spirituality, and how to get what You want in life (this one drops on Sunday): https://linktr.ee/astroian888

Astrology vs the real world? The real world = astrology?

Photo by Zoltan Tasi on Unsplash

I used to think astrology was some sort of fortune cookie type shit people read to feel good or better about themselves. I didn’t see it as valuable at all. On the contrary, I saw it as an illusion, a deception.

Approximately 9 years ago I was asking some big questions about life, relationships, etc., and came across a YouTube video from a channel which name hinted (Astrolada) that it was mostly to do with astrology, and for some reason, I still decided to click on it. My mind was blown quite quickly. It was my first and one of the favorite astrology teachers Lada Duncheva explaining the Moon cycles (while doing a monthly forecast for all the signs) and how these are connected to our emotions/feelings.

I was pretty much instantly hooked but my scientific mind couldn’t believe it all just as is. I had to start conducting experiments in the real world, in real life with real-life matters.

I even challenged astrology and said, “Ok, prove this shit to me.” I forgot about those predictive videos for a month and lived my life as is, without any astrology. After a month I went to a predictive video that was recorded in the past and for that month I just had lived, turned it on, and again, my mind was blown. The matters spoken in the video for my signs were the ones I had just lived.

My scientific and skeptic mind was starting to believe. And I’m used to thinking critically and approaching things from a “can we prove this” perspective, all my grandparents were literally scientists. One of them still is to this day, and I thank them for this way of thinking, it helps a lot in astrology, as well as with all matters in life.

But a lot of astrology was still a bit “iffy” to me. No real value in the real world, just some mumbo-jumbo that really didn’t make sense to me. I had to learn more and started conducting more experiments. I also made it my goal to learn from those who applied their knowledge in the material realm not just only in the “ethers” somewhere.

I started seeing patterns forming everywhere, links, timelines. In finance, corporate life, meetings, technology, relationships. I took what I had learned to the streets and started using these patterns in the real world. Which lead to a lot of improvement in my life. (Starting a business, promotion, being able to stay in relationships and get through the tough times, etc. = real-life tangible matters).

Now 9 years later I have come full circle. I’m back at the very place this astrological experiment started for me. I sat down with my first teacher Lada Duncheva and we recorded a video about Low self-worth and how to remedy it with astrology (it also touches very tangible matters like leverage during negotiations and timing techniques You can use to give Yourself a leg up during those somewhat difficult moments in life).

I hope You enjoy this one and for those more curious I’m also teaching a webinar on the 23rd of May, 2021 about these matters where we get deeper into it.

Ian Altosaar

Get my book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081X34YK7

For a personal consultation contact me here: https://ianaltosaar.com/shop/

Instagram: @astroian888

Twitter: @ianaltosaar

Join me on LBRY here (an alternative for YouTube): https://lbry.tv/$/invite/@FreedomAstrology:0

Competition for more Love

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Until You learn to, at the very least like Yourself and later love Yourself, it’s all a competition for more love.

One of the reasons our society is so bent on winning and success is because in truth it equals love.

The desire to be the best comes from feeling unworthy. The desire to dominate comes from feeling powerless.

The desire to be in the constant center of attention becomes from the fear of not being seen. (Which again is fear of losing love).

The conundrum is that in the action of constantly wanting all the attention from others You repel others away from You. Because You are acting out of fear and You are in that action creating the very thing You are afraid of. Which is others abandoning You because of self-centered behavior. True leaders know when to lead and when to step back and let others lead. But this only comes from feeling that fear and being comfortable with (and within) Yourself.

Feeling the fear of not being loved or the perceived loss of love from others gives the person the freedom to do what they truly want. Instead of acting from their subconscious fears.

Feel everything and You become Yourself.

Ian Altosaar

Get my book here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B081X34YK7

For a personal consultation contact me here: https://ianaltosaar.com/shop/

Instagram: @astroian888

Twitter: @ianaltosaar

www.ianaltosaar.com

Join me on LBRY here (an alternative for YouTube): https://lbry.tv/$/invite/@FreedomAstrology:0

Consider Yourself Lucky

Image source: Photo by Cody Davis on Unsplash

The fear of losing who I once was
Completely baffles my mind
The hurt caused by the opinions of people I once considered friends
Still roams and looms in my consciousness
Although I’ve experienced what it truly means to love myself
The doubts and the emptiness still remains
If only once in a while
It’s like a harsh reminder
Of the past and present
A fierce companion and teacher
Who comes to knock and say
I know the days, Your old ways
Consider Yourself so lucky
To have gone through it all

Ian Altosaar

I Love You

Image source: Photo by Roman Kraft on Unsplash

Sitting in confusion
In the energy moving
Sometimes difficult to navigate
Feeling strength and truth underneath it all
Even more bewildering
To have the knowing
And not have it come out
To sit in it
Marinating for hours and days on end
Takes a profound man who is committed to his cause
Here I am
Observing the relevance of it
Drowning in paradox
Gobbling up the sensations
Until I decide to release them
Out into the world
From the depths of my knowing
In the hearts of men and women everywhere
Yearning for truth and meaning
Hoping for something to believe in
The knowing of Truth brings responsibility
The feeling of realness
Leaks out to distant frontiers
I’ll leave You with Myself
With my heart dripping of love and care
Let’s say a simple prayer
I love You, Ian

Ian Altosaar