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Restless, taking my time
Resting on my arms
A violet skyline
Rising from afar
Cast away
Longing for companionship
Witnessing
The return of the heart
A good start
Baking the dough
Molding the foundation
Saying what is true
Hoist the sails
Into the weary sea
Where darkness and light meet
And I dip my feet
Ian Altosaar
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It doesn’t really matter
Knowing pain is knowing Yourself
Why do I choose this?
Because it’s sweeter than a woman’s kiss
What’s real anymore?
Who can I trust?
Right on the cusp
Standing as I must
Believe, believe in Yourself
Quiet whispers remain
Like the weather just before the rain
Going into someone else’s pain
Touched soul deeply
In the presence of innocence
I rise and rise
Until I catch the tide
To where my truth resides
Ian Altosaar
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It made the candle lit room silent
His breath was heavy and deep
Mustered up from the depths of his soul
He was growing old
Something or someone seemed to be nagging at him
Something he couldn’t yet touch
Something old was about to leave
What, that remains to be seen
It seemed to follow his every breath
Thought, movement
His aching heart was followed by his aching body
The only thing he wanted to do was to remain in his study
Even looking out the window at the playful leaves
He felt distant
The whole action itself, gruesomely tiresome
Suddenly the leaves stopped
Only a flicker remained
He had stayed with himself through the storm
Now the insides of him felt strong
Ian Altosaar
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Aah the angst
Pain of growing into something new
Into the unknown I venture
Painful and hard
Only in my mind are the stories from the past
Creeping in to silence the newfound freedom within me
It’s a battleground
No winners or losers here
Just the uncomfortable unexplored territory of life
Tweaking the corners for later
Maybe
I do not know
I can only have faith in Myself
To come out of this agonizing prison I’ve created
It hurts to even say it
Might be the most painful of them all
Admitting that I’ve created this
No one to blame, to shame
Just me and My pain
All there is left to say
Holding Myself in this gateway
To freedom
Gently, one step at a time
Ian Altosaar
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There are times that it will hurt like hell
The mind likes to dwell
To ring the bell of doubt
But thankfully there is a way out
Knowing that will lead You down south
Where the warm breeze
Is equaled by the coldest of fronts
Toughness is required there
Toughness of Your mind, body and soul
To take a hold of what’s going on inside Your home
Why You might ask?
Because nothing else will even matter after You feel Yourself fully
The glow that mirrors back to You
Will melt Your heart
You are only left with
The sweetness pouring
Over flowing
Kindness
A firm heart
This seems like a good place to start
The mission of You
Ian Altosaar
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I forgot to write
What a glorious few words it would have been
Raising questions, requires answers
And the answers become the inquirers
When they have the wits to do so
Tremendous amounts of learning
And wisdom
Are uncovered in those moments
When two or more minds
Come together, listen and speak
Treat themselves to a moment in time
When all is seemingly lost in the moment
And the moment itself
Is full of richness of the Self
A meeting of minds
Is a reminder for all involved
Not all is lost
And everything can be revealed
If there’s desire and commitment
Present
Yourself with kindness
Kindness of the mind as well as heart
Then all will be well
There will be more stories to tell
Until they ring the final bell
Ian Altosaar
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As I look at the logs
Waiting for their turn in the fire
I see the journey they have taken to arrive here
I feel this strange sense of connection to it
The hard work that went into getting them here
And now they repay me with the warmth I was craving
Hopefully in their own sense of the word
They are fulfilling their destiny, like I am
Intertwined the both of us
Our story, without the bells and whistles, echoing in eternity
It can all be in my imagination as well
Who has the wisdom to tell?
That the trees who fell
Are spending rest of their lives in hell?
Ian Altosaar
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What seems like eternity
I’ve been writing a poem a day
Feels good in my heart
This creative part
Looking at the horizon
I see my reflection
Standing in the mist
Gently clenching my fist
Hang tightly my dear
The words are becoming more clear
As I steer
The ship of myself closer to the pier
Settling in homey waters
I taste my own being for starters
Laughing joyously
Together with my Brothers
Ian Altosaar
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I know You’ve felt it a lot
Screams of the night
They hold truth at their core
Basking in the silence after
Brings up serendipitous mysticism
I feel like I’m floating in it
Staying true, I conclude
Love looks just like a fool
In costume, wandering the streets of Hoolahuu
Breaking bread, feasting in to the night
Drooling over the luscious curves of the feminine
His body aches, blinded by his desire
He wears a blindfold, holding on for dear life
I hope he will slowly come back to
His own being, because he is me
In stillness we will see our own might
And together be free inside the glow
Of our soul
Ian Altosaar
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I’m fucking scared
Scared to rip my chest open
And show my heart
I’m scared of it being stomped all over
I still have that in me
Looking at the road I’ve taken
Things forsaken, thinking I was less then
There’s still some simmering at the bottom
I’m okay, I’m okay with not being okay
Okay with being sad, I’m letting myself be sad
Bringing it on the table, looking
For stable ground within me
In my core, in the warmth of the flames that reside within my soul
It feels like a small intimate camp fire
Where there’s room for everyone
Love and care, security and strength
That is what I hold until I grow whole
And finally let it all flow
I just hope, You are there to catch me and witness it unfold
Ian Altosaar
Ian Altosaar 